Bittersweet

I knew this day would come and you would think sending out my resume a million times would have helped me prepare but it didn't. I'm going back to work Monday and I'm devastated. I went for a second interview today to meet the president of the company, on the way home they called and offered me the job, I cried the rest of the way to pick up Adrian from my parents. I know I have to go back to work to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table and diapers on my sweet baby boy, I know this is to make a better life for him and give him everything he deserves but that doesn't help my guilt, it won't help the heart ache, it won't help me catch my breath whenever I think about leaving him and it won't make me miss him any less.

There is a very small part of me that is excited to get out in the world again, to have conversations with someone that can actually talk back and feel like I'm contributing to our family again. A VERY VERY small part, like 1/2 a %.

I don't even want to think about it anymore so I'm ending this post, short and sad...

We have a screamer

Adrian has now learned to scream, he doesn’t have it quite down yet but today when he woke up from his nap is he was screaming bloody murder. It scared Corey and I to death, he was of course completely fine just testing out his vocal cords. He also has learned to pull out and almost put back his pacifier, I can’t believe he can focus in on something and actually reach for it or roll towards it. I’m anxious for him to reach new milestones but I want to cherish them when they happen and remember them forever.

At his 4 month Dr.’s appointment this week he was 14 pounds and 26 inches, he grew 3 inches in 2 months! He didn’t even cry when he got his shot, he’s such a champ.

Some other fun things he’s learned to do is grab stationary items and use them for leverage, he loves to grab the toys hanging from his bouncer and use them to sit up straighter, he will turn and grab the side of it to try to get himself to turn over. He’s working on rolling over from his back and he loves to arch his back to look at things upside down. He learned to grab his toes awhile ago and he loves to play with them and kick everything.

 

We have a baby einstein stationary play thing, he get’s in that thing and goes to town, he jumps like a kangaroo. He loves to jump on anything and everything, he will stand holding onto us or the sofa or something. Corey’s mom said he started walking at 8 months, didn’t bother crawling.  He’s also learning to laugh, OMG it’s so cute when he cracks up. He’s ticklish but only sometimes and his ticklish spots change.

 

I think his favorite thing to do is take baths. He splashes up a storm and hates getting out. I’m really excited he enjoys water so much because I can’t wait to take him to San Diego. We are going to do mommy and me swim classes within the next couple months so both he and I can feel comfortable with him in the water.

He smiles at absolutely anything and everything, strangers, dogs, the mirror of course and all of his toys. He is such a happy baby it has definitely made things really easy on me. It’s so nice to be able to put him on the floor for a few minutes while I vacuum or throw a load of laundry in.

The Easter Bunny

I took this picture of Adrian a couple weeks ago, I love it! It really shows how expressive he is with his hands.

 

Here’s our Easter card:

My Baby

 

I love everything about you. You were literally made for me, I could not have asked for a more perfect baby. I love your lips and their smiles, your eyes, your little button nose and your ears that have a slight point to them. Your hands are amazing and so expressive, I can’t kiss them enough. Your feet have always been large but they are still so tiny and I love how you curl your toes when I touch them.

Your daddy and I love you so so much, you have forever changed our lives for the better. Even when you are overly tired and flailing your arms about, getting in some good jabs I still feel so lucky to have you. I never knew love could come so instantly and I can’t believe I can love you more yet each day you prove me wrong.

Not only have our lives changed for the better but you have brought so much joy to your grandparents and aunts and uncles. They literally fight to hold and spend time with you. Our friends are also smitten by you and can’t visit enough. Even Zoey is trying to get belly rubs from you already. No one can resist you.

I love you great big whole world, always and forever!!

<3 Mommy

Wedding bells are ringing

This evening we went and ordered the bridesmaid dresses for Nikki’s wedding. I’m so excited and I think the dresses are beautiful.

There’s so many exciting times to come, this year is going to be crazy. I got to see Nikki in her full wedding attire on Saturday night, holy crap!! She is seriously going to be the most beautiful bride ever.

The bachelorette party and bridal shower are in the planning stages, we are going to have a blast!

New photos

Just wanted to post some new photos, I just uploaded these from my camera…

I don’t know why I love this so much but I can’t get enough of it

This is his newest pose, chin up!

I should be updating more

Adrian is freaking adorable and I can’t get enough of him. I can’t believe how quickly he is growing and changing. He laughed for the first time the other night (the 10th) I most definitely teared up.

He will be 3 months old on Monday, I can’t believe it.

I feel like a grown up (besides the fact I’m married and have a baby) because I got my first lap top. I’ve never even had a computer of my own before, I’m so ridiculously excited and hope to be able to update a lot more since I can move it around the house with me.

Once I have pictures uploaded to the computer I will start posting them on here.